It turns out that my 2008 Sailing Goal was not as 'S.M.A.R.T.' (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely) as I hoped it would be. Sadly, I failed to reach my goal.
If I had my 2008 sailing season goal-setting to do all over again, I may have written something like this:
Spend a year -- perhaps the most special year of your life -- getting to know, and eventually falling in love with, your new best friend (a single man your own age who shares your love of sailing, television, and your puppy-dog... and who actually lives two doors down from you.) Have tons of laughs and hours upon hours of meaningful conversations. Share secrets with each other that you've never shared with anyone else on the planet, and share several mind-blowing kisses (although none while hove-to in the very center of the lake.) Eventually, experience the pain that comes from realizing that his feelings are not, and never will be, the same as yours. Attempt to drown away the memories (and thoughts about the names you had selected for your gorgeous future children) with Cabernet, and then - when that doesn't work - with some nice Australian Shiraz, and then - when that doesn't work - with the cigarettes you gave up 3 years ago. Experience an even more heightened sense of pain (even worse than when you tweaked the muscle in your neck last summer and had nerve pain shooting down your arm that made you cry like a baby in the ER and beg for narcotics) when you learn that he is shopping for 30-year-olds on meatmarket.com. (Although Lord knows that neither of us is getting any younger.) Realize that the pain is too great to be just his 'buddy', and resign yourself to the fact that the most you will ever be to this very special man is perhaps the middle-aged spinster babysitter to his future children. The End.
If that had been my 2008 sailing goal, this post would have simply consisted of the statement "Yay me! I did it!!" :-\
Although I am very sad, I am not bitter (partly because I read in the marie claire that bitterness can lead to those pesky fine lines around the eyes.) I know that everything will work out the way it's supposed to work out, and I ultimately will -- Lord willing -- be happy with whatever the future holds. For now, though, I think I miss him more and more with every day that passes. (Oh dear, I think I've regressed to age 14. Quick, someone hand me the hair mousse and the Aqua Net -- my bangs are way too flat.)
Although I didn't achieve my 2008 sailing goal, it was quite a memorable season -- magical, even. And I lift my glass of Shiraz and my Virginia Slim Light in salute to all of you who did heave-to in the very center of the lake this season... in order to kiss someone special.